her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
