She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
