If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
