I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
