I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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