So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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