took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
