She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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