And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize