what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
