I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
