Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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