did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
