two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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