We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
