he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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