your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
