let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
