I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
