remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
