Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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