Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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