Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
