I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
