Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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