are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
