pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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