kristin has been a bad kristin
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
