I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
