she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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