he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
