Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Randomize
