is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
