Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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