i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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