before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
