I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
