You're so nebulous sometimes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
