So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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