i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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