sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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