I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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