I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
