I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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