areolas are like halos for boobs.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you inspire me to be a worse person
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
