Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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