walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
