Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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