Don't you send me to vm
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
