How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
