Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
