He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
