Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
