the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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