You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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