I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
