how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
